This is me...

Last Christmas, after two full months of progressively worsening vaginal bleeding and clotting, I finally went to see a doctor.  Why did I wait so long? Who knows.  Stupidity.  Stubbornness. Fear.  Finances. 

My doctor was very concerned about the bleeding and scheduled a hysteroscopy two days later.  What is a hysteroscopy, you ask.   Basically, spelunking in my uterus, searching for buried treasures.  She removed quite a few benign polyps which were the source of my never-ending period.  Ahhh, my troubles were finally over. 

Or so I thought.  As part of the exam process, my doctor requested an ultrasound of my ovaries and uterus.  I had heard of this thing called a trans-vaginal ultrasound but didn’t quite understand that I was about to violated in my innermost being. 

The ultrasound revealed an enlarged left ovary.  The doctor wasn’t overly concerned but had me come back every three months to make sure it wasn’t growing or changing.  That’s right, every three months for the past year, I voluntarily submitted to a body cavity search. 

During the ultrasounds, I was fascinated to watch the screen and try to make out the parts.  I had a great tech who was very patient with all my questions and helped me understand what I was seeing.  Last week, when I was I noticed a change in the image, she calmly assured me that it was a cyst and my doctor would discuss it further with me.

My doctor expressed concern over the change and suggested we remove the ovary.  Given my history last year, as well as the fact that I am getting closer and closer to menopause, we decided to remove both ovaries and my uterus.  So now I am scheduled for surgery in two weeks. 

During our research, my daughter found the term “surgical menopause”.  I discovered that upon removal of the ovaries, I will be thrust into menopause.  Immediately.  No gradual change.  No time to adapt.  Just hot flashes and mood swings.   

This blog is a place for me to keep track of the experience.  Hopefully I will vent my emotions here instead of taking it out on my family.  I have a friend who has already offered her guest room to my daughter when she needs a break from me.

So this is me facing menopause – cold turkey.